Once A Year
by Triple Rainbow
Summary: Even 10 years after Sai's dissapearance, Hikaru mourns him on the anniversery. Once a year, he remembers. one-shot


Hikaru no go fanfiction. I don't own Hikaru no go universe or any of the characters. Hikaru is a little OCC, but oh well. Hope you like it. Please review.

It was THAT day. It comes once a year and every time it hurts just as much even though it's been 10 years. I won't play today. No one seems to understand that. I don't speak unless I have to also. I'm sitting at home, alone, looking at our last game. The one we were playing before he disappeared. I won't play today, but that doesn't mean I can't reminisce. I know he won't come back. I've accepted that. But sometimes I just with I could see him one last time. Hopefully I'll see him once I pass away. Then we can play Go again with each other, after all these years. All of a sudden there's a nock at the door. It's Waya, Isumi and Touya. They come every year to try to cheer me up and they always end up leaving with a mad Waya because I won't talk to them. I let them think I'm not here. Maybe they'll go somewhere else looking for me.

"Hikaru! We know you're in there! Let us in!" yells Waya. I just sit there as he bangs on the door more.

"Waya, let's go. He doesn't want to talk to anyone right now," says Isumi. He understands best out of anyone that I want to be alone.

"No! I'm not leaving!" There's a silent for a while after that. They must have dragged Waya away. That's quicker then last year. Then, in a soft voice, there's Touya saying, "Hey... Hikaru. I know you want to be alone now. I don't know why, but if you ever need to talk about something, or just need someone with you, I'm here for you. We're all here for you. Well that's all I have to say, so... bye." That was new.

They were at the end of the hall when I opened the door. Touya turned around first, and got the attention of the others. I walked back into my apartment and sit on the couch, waiting for them to join me. I stare down at the Go board as they shuffle in after me. Touya claims the seat on the couch next to me and Isumi and Waya claim the two chairs across from us. We sit like that, in a tense silence, until Waya disrupts it.

"So are you going to talk or not?" Isumi smacks him in that arm for his rudeness and pregnant pause fills the room. After a few minutes, they seemed to except that this will stay a day of silence.

"He left me."

Everyone's eyes snapped to me. He had spoken on the day he never did, on the day he mourned. I still stared down at the board, by blocking their view of my eyes. I'm glad for this, for my eyes were starting to tear up.

"He left me on this day 10 years ago." My voice was the only thing that disrupted the silence. Everyone seemed to be holding their breath, as if they expected any sound to scare me off. "It wasn't really his fault. It was just his time to go. But he's gone... and I'll never see him again." Silence engulfed us again; well until Touya got his courage.

"Hikaru, how left you?" This innocent question struck my very core.

"Sai" I choke out. A gasp escapes the room, but I keep going. "He said he'd never leave. He was my best friend. Why did he have to go? Why?" Tears are openly flowing now and I shake with my sobs. Touya's hand pats my back comfortingly.

"I know I didn't know him, but I don't think he left on purpose Hikaru. I don't think anyone would do that to you once they get to know you," he says.

"Yeah!" Waya interjects. "Your to awesome Hikaru! Forget about it."

"I can't forget about it!" I snap. "If I forget, no one will remember him!"

"I'm sure theirs someone..." starts Isumi, but I cut him off again.

"No! I'm the only one! No one else knew him! Know one else cared..." I'm crying harder now. "I went looking for him after it happened. I searched everywhere but I couldn't find him. No one knew him. Know one would look other then me. I'm the only one that knew him. Why can't you understand that!"

"Hey Hikaru," Touya says calmly, trying to change the subject. "Who's game is that?" He was pointing to the game I had been staring at.

"This was our last game we played. We never finished it. I was too tired that night. I wanted to go to bed. He begged me to finish it with him, but I didn't want to. I think he knew he had to go soon. He disappeared that night..." Silence took over again. Everyone looked like they had something they wanted to say, but couldn't get it out.

"I want to be alone now," I say. "Please leave." Waya looks like he was going to protest, but Isumi shook his head and they grudgingly walked out. Touya stood next to me.

"Hikaru..." he said softly.

"Go." I say looking up at him. "Please..."

He nods and walks away, closing the door behind him. I turn my attention back to the board. Yes, I had to do this. I had to remember. And so I will, one day a year.


End file.
